Fella’s, Meet Jim!

“Fella’s, meet Jim.  Jim is a new member who joined our Friday Men’s Group for the first time this morning.  He has a 14.7 index, he played with new clubs and prior to this morning he had never played our back nine.  Based on his 14.7 Index, he was given 17 strokes.  He proceeded to shoot a 42 on the front and a cool 38 on the back for a total of 80, eight strokes over par…net 63!  We’re sooooo glad to have you, welcome to the Club and our Friday Men’s Group!” Tony (organizer of the Friday Men’s Group), commenting on my first full eighteen holes of golf at Southern Hills Plantation (Magnolia tee box, 69.1 Course Rating/129 Slope Rating) in the 19^th Hole, shortly after dispensing 44.44% of the total pot directly into Team John/Jim’s collective money clip.  While Tony was finalizing my introduction to the Group, I am quite certain I heard the words “bull$hit” and “sandbagger” fill the air.

Background: The foundation of our Bad Golf Guy blog is based on my golfing journey, my trials and tribulations, my countless embarrassing moments and the sheer futility of my game. Recent points in case:

• My Index jumped from 12.2 in May to 14.7 in June.
• I shot an “Adjusted Score” of 96 at Meadia Heights in Lancaster, PA on May 26^th.
• The day prior to my performance at Southern Hills, I spent twenty minutes attempting to get at least one ball in the air (as witnessed by my colleague Gary).

I arrived at Southern Hills Plantation at 7:30 for an 8:30 shotgun start.  There were three foursomes for the morning’s Two Man Better Ball Points Game with Strokes match.  My fellow players were Tony, John, Butch, Buck, Joe, Chuck, Jim B., John A., Jim P., Rich and Jack. Being new, I wasn’t certain of the protocol however, after a quick trip to the range and practice putting, I made certain I was milling around the first tee at 8:15.  My objective for the day was to not embarrass myself, which I have done on countless occasions, as well as to make a few acquaintances.  As I arrived at the first tee, I was greeted by my partner John (7 Index), Tony, Butch and Jack.  Everyone was cordial to the interloper.

I opened the front with three natural pars, which certainly caught the attention of our playing mates (Tony and Butch).  Two double-bogeys ensued, then a bogey, a par, a bogey and a par.  I opened the back with a bogey, followed by two pars, a bogey, followed by five consecutive pars. To add insult to injury, I rolled in a 25’ big bender on the eighteenth green for par. 

Midway through the back nine, I knew I had lost all credibility with our playing mates however my partner was supportive and was fist-bumping me around the property.   Having a pretty good idea of my fate in the 19^th Hole, I considered a quick stage right exit to the parking lot.  After further consideration, I knew I needed to be a bigger man and face the music.  The reception from my fellow competitors was slightly warmer than chilly but, to their credit, I was invited back, which was very kind.

This is clearly uncharted territory for Bad Golf Guy.  I may elect to reconnect with my new best friends in a couple of weeks after a cooling off period or I may simply submit my letter of resignation.  I will keep you posted.

Note:  I decided to share my exploits with my true golfing cronies, John, Dave and Joe.  Via text, Joe responded as follows; “Nice round!  In the event they would need to substantiate your scoring history, have them give me a call!”  Joe, perhaps better than anyone, can explain just how I’ve earned every stroke of my 14.7 Index.

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The back nine can only get better!