As I drove towards the Clubhouse, I noticed something odd; a foursome, positioned between the tee box and the green complex, all wearing the same golf shirt. And, may I say, not just any golf shirt! Quite frankly, it appeared as if the peloton from the Tour de France was cycling through the 1st hole at Southern Hills Plantation. Their shirts were bright royal blue and the backs of their shirts were adorned with a large logo.
After my initial sighting, I really didn’t give the foursome a whole lot of thought. I headed to the practice area, looking for a little lightening in a bottle! Finding none, I met my wife for lunch on the picturesque veranda, overlooking the eighteenth hole. Wrapping up lunch, we headed inside to settle our tab.
As we stood at the bar, signing the slip, the members of the previously mentioned foursome were nearby, ordering post round libations. They were having a blast; teasing the bartender, laughing and needling each other insistently. As they turned and walked towards their table, we had the chance to take a closer look at the backs of their shirts. In bold letters, at the top of the circular logo, was “Spring Hill MGA” and in smaller letters, at the bottom of the circular logo, was “Mediocre Golf Association”. In the middle of the circular logo, a Mermaid, the recognizable symbol of Weeki Wachee Springs State Park, a local attraction, only miles away and the next town over from Spring Hill. I was intrigued with their flamboyant shirts, their moniker and their good natured spirit!
A week or so later, comfortably nestled deep into my Barcalounger curiosity got the best of me. I grabbed my iPad and searched “Spring Hill Mediocre Golf Association.” Much to my amazement and amusement, the Spring Hill Mediocre Golf Association’s website, including the above referenced logo and the name of their Chapter Leader (Pete Bedell), populated my screen. As I perused the site, there were tabs for Schedule, News, Media, Results, Players, Contact Chapter Leader, and Join Chapter. In addition to the tabs, the site highlighted the Next Event (Bratish Open…not a typo), the Last Event Leaderboard (The MGA, played at Southern Hills Plantation, with a purse of $7.50…not a typo), the YTD Money List (Andrew Barno leading the pack with $2.43…not a typo) and an About section, describing their organization as follows:
“Shamelessly unexceptional! Come join our group of unexceptional golfers in and around Spring Hill, Florida, where you can feel good about how bad you play…just like the rest of us. You can even earn awards and recognition for it!”
Finding this all very amusing, I was just about to close up shop when I noticed a Search Our Chapters link on their website. When I punched up Chapters, a map of the United States appeared with countless location pins. As I expanded the view of the map, I found a number of International location pins as well. Stunned, I decided to dig a little deeper.
The Mediocre Golf Association was founded in 2006, in San Francisco, by Jon “Lucky Kick” Morley (El Presidente) and “Straight” Willie Dills. There are seventy some Chapters within the States and five International Chapters. The organization’s Mission Statement is as follows: “The Mediocre Golf Association is the official golf association for the other guys. Our goal is to unite golfers all over the world and allow them to play the game of golf as it was intended. Badly. The MGA does not discriminate with handicaps; it encourages players of all skill levels, except those with skill levels higher than ours. If you are a good golfer, move along, there’s nothing here for you to see. If you are everyone else on the planet, you’ve found your people. Welcome. Enjoy your stay and remember that golf is fun, when you’re mediocre.”
Concept: “We are told par is what we should score on each hole and we feel bad about ourselves when we aren’t able to achieve that. But par is ridiculous and an unrealistic expectation that is unjustly placed upon us.
Players should play to mediocre par (Mar). Mar is bogey golf, which equates to one stroke over par on every hole, for a total score of 90 on a typical 18-hole golf course.”
MGA “Mar” Lingo (Par 4):
Score (3): Meagle
Score (4): Mirdie
Score (5): Mar
Score (6): Mogey
Score (7): Double Mogey
Leveling the Field: “All players with Handicaps in excess of 18 will be accessed penalty strokes to compensate for their superhuman performance capabilities.”
Penalty Stroke Calculator: Subtract your Handicap from 18. (Example: 18 – 12 (Handicap) = 6). In this example, a player with a 12 Handicap would add 6 strokes to their overall score. Players shooting a gross score of 79 or better are automatically disqualified from the tournament, no matter how many penalty shots have been added to the score.
MGA Event Schedule (All MGA Chapters conduct eight stroke-play tournaments a year):
March: Rebel Beach AM-AM (Purse $6.20)
April: The Bastards (Purse $7.00)
May: The MGA (Purse $7.50)
June: F.U. Open (Freedom and Unity) (Purse $7.50)
July: Bratish Open (Purse $7.00)
August: Fore! Championship (Purse $9.50)
September: Douche Bag Invitational (Purse $7.50)
October: The Last Gasp (Purse $6.20)
Based on performance, players qualify for the Mediocre Golf World Championship (Purse $10.10), conducted annually, during the month of November, in Las Vegas, Nevada.
MGA World Championship Qualifications:
- Top 10 Money List within your Chapter
- Winning a regular season Chapter Tournament
- Former World Champions and Global Money Champions receive a five-year exemption
Let’s summarize, shall we. The Mediocre Golf Association is an organization where really bad golf is embraced, an organization that fosters comradery and an organization that prioritizes self-deprecation and laughter. Hmmmmm, it would appear Bad Golf Guy isn’t alone!
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The back nine can only get better!
Sounds like an organization for me. Great post Jim
This is truly crazy stuff.