There Is Nothing Quite Like Sheer Stupidity

This one has been in the queue for quite some time, as I have not been emotionally equipped to bring the story to the light of day.  Now, eight months later, in the throes of a worldwide pandemic, one Bloody-Mary down and one in hand, I am finally willing to bare my soul.

As some of you know from personal experience, I have had quite a history in Three Day Member-Guests.  My team has routinely finished towards the bottom of the sixty, sometimes seventy-two, team heap and on a few occasions, the absolute bottom of the sixty, sometimes seventy-two, team heap!  My prodigious performances were highlighted in my March 2018 post, My Nemesis.

Last summer, my brother and I managed to improve our plight in Naperville Country Club’s “Invitational” (Naperville, Illinois), finishing 5^th out our six team flight and 61^st out of the seventy-two team field.  For the very first time in countless years, I was able hold my head slightly higher than my ankles at the banquet.

The following September, my long time golfing buddy (Dave) was kind enough to invite me to participate in the Country Club of York’s (York, Pennsylvania) Three Day Member-Guest.  The sixty-team event had ten, six-team Flights.  The format was Better Ball of Partners, playing five, nine-hole matches against our five other Flight members.  Each hole in each match is worth a point; one-point for a win, a ½ for a tie and zero-points for a loss.  The winner of each nine-hole match receives an additional point. There are a maximum of 10 points to each match.  The matches are handicapped, yielding strokes to the higher handicapped players.  Players can receive a stroke(s) or a ½ stroke on a hole, depending on comparison Handicap Index’s.  The winner of each Flight participates in a ten-team “Shootout” to determine the eventual Tournament Champion.

Anyway, we got off to a slow but predictable start by winning 3 ½ out of a possible 10 points in our first match and 3 points in our second match.  After two matches, the leader in our Flight had 12 points, two others teams had 11 points as we were nestled in with a nifty 6 ½ points. We rallied in our third match, winning 7 ½ points to wrap up the first day of competition with 14 points.  After three of the five matches, there were two teams leading our Flight with 16 points.  All of a sudden, we were in the mix of a very competitive Flight with two matches remaining on the final day.

Having concluded our fourth match, we trailed our Flight Leader by only 1 ½ points!  Let me pause for a moment.  I have never been in this position, in contention, entering the fifth and final match of a Three Day Member-Guest.  We needed to play well in our final match while simultaneously getting some help from the team that was competing against the Flight Leader. 

Dave played some great golf in our final match, carrying the bulk of the load, as we won with 6 ½ points, garnering 28 points for the five match tournament. Our Flight Leader won their final match with 6 points, garnering 29 points for the five match tournament and a 1^st Place finish (within our Flight).  Dave and I finished in 2^nd place (Flight Runners-Up), losing by 1 point which, at the end of the day, was quite remarkable based on my resume and our slow start!

Unfortunately, this is not the end of story! 

During our first match, we gave away a ½  point when my partner (responding to a question by competitor #1) confirmed the facts of the brief conversation by saying “good” at the exact moment competitor #2 was about to pull the trigger on his six-foot, hole tying putt.  Hearing “good” and being some thirty-feet away from the actual conversation, competitor #2 picked up his ball and thanked Dave for his generosity.  Stunned by the sequence of events, we walked off the green, trying to ascertain the license plate number of the tractor trailer that just ran us down!   The gift gave our competitors a full point when a likely two-putt would have yielded a ½ point for each team.

Falling on the heels of this debacle, during our fourth match, the general consensus on the 7^th green was that I was receiving a full-stroke and one of our competitors was receiving a ½ stroke.  I parred the hole as our competitor was sizing up his ten-foot par putt.  It seemed clear (based on the stoke situation) that my net 3 was going to beat our competitors’ best efforts, 3 ½.  Prior to our competitors’ putt, I decided to confirm the stroke situation by running back to the cart and checking the scorecard.  I took a quick look at the card and confirmed our assumptions.  Our competitor picked up his ball, congratulated me on the win, as we all headed back to our carts to prepare for the 8^th hole.  Moments later, one of our competitors’, stopping dead in his tracts, announcing that my stroke on the 7^th hole was not for the 7^th hole, it was for the upcoming 8^th hole.  Net, net, net…our nice little (perceived) one point win, wound up as a nice little one point loss as we needed to concede the un-played ten-foot par putt!  In the heat of the moment, I failed to take a deep breath, pause, and thoroughly evaluate the scorecard.

So let’s do the math! 

If we actually would have known the stroke situation on the 7^th hole and our competitor (who was receiving the ½ stroke) would have missed the ten-foot par putt, we would have won the hole, earning a full point. Based on this, more than likely scenario, our five match total would have been 29 ½ points…enough to be crowned as Flight Champion by a ½ point.

I have lost countless matches due to poor play, now I can proudly say that I lost our chance to participate in the Tournament Championship Shootout with all of the other Flight winners based on sheer stupidity!   

I really hope Dave might somehow skip this week’s post as it might send him into a tailspin.

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