Bad Guy Golf

Over the past few months, I have experienced an interesting phenomenon, having been referred to as Bad Guy Golf in emails, text messages and personal conversations, for which I have taken as a personal assault on my minimalistic character.  The difference between Bad Golf Guy and Bad Guy Golf is subtle, yet dramatic!  Before I begin to mount my defense, I would like to make one thing clear, my parents (Jack and Lois), cannot be blamed or held responsible for the final product.  They did their very best, providing a faith based, family oriented foundation! 

Note:  A “Bad Guy” is defined by Merriam-Webster as “someone who deserves to be blamed or criticized for causing a bad situation.  Also, someone who is likened to the villain in a story, such as a criminal.”

The recent Bad Guy Golf references have caused me to pause for a moment and reflect on the validity of the accusations.  A few facts:  I vividly remember stealing a small box of reinforcements (at the ripe old age of six or seven) at J.J Newberry’s in Springfield, NJ.  In addition, the summer between second and third grade, I was ratted out by my brother, who informed our Mother that I had sworn during some sort of activity at our Washington Avenue Park, which was directly behind our home.  Unbeknownst to me, after hearing our Mother’s distinctive whistle harkening me to come hither, I was further nabbed by my Mother taking a drag of a cigarette from Arnold Arnold (this is not a typo) as I passed by the pitcher’s mound on my way to our backyard. 

Note:  As I recall, at least from my perspective, the punishment was excessive and unjust for my relatively minor indiscretions!  I spent a full week in my second floor bedroom, sans air conditioning, printing (having learned cursive during my third grade year) five-hundred times each in a number of blue journals, “I will never swear again” and “I will never smoke again”!  The damn punishment was partially effective.  The saving grace of that day was not finding an idle cold quart bottle of Rheingold in the vicinity!

Well, I could go on and on and so I will for just a moment.  There was also the time I was being punished for yet another minor indiscretion late in my elementary school years, forcing me to miss my cherished Saturday morning football, which again, from my perspective, was way beyond penal.  In my infinite wisdom, I elected to temporarily suspend my sentence, slithering out of the house through a trap door in the attic, down into our garage, whisking away on my blue Raleigh bike, only to be dragged off the football field moments later by my Father via my facemask!  Ok, ok, I caused a few problems and obviously I wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer!  I believe at this point in time, the defense relative to my character is underwhelming.

I have made countless Bad decisions throughout my sixty-five plus years and have learned a lifetime of lessons, every single one The Hard Way!  I am less than proud of a portion of my track record however those life experiences have shaped who I am today.  I would also like to think that I have grown to be more thoughtful, more respectful and more courteous in my advanced years.  Case in point, I always introduce myself to my bartender, I always take my empty beer glass and pretzel basket from the table to the bar, at the end of each bar side session I always tuck-in my stool and I would like to think I am a reasonably good tipper.  I believe at this point in time, the scales of justice relative to my character are swinging in my favor!

As we continue to travel down this road together, let’s stay focused on my golfing experiences/nonsense (Bad Golf Guy) and a little less attention to my indiscretions (Bad Guy Golf)…it will be better for all of us!

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The back nine can only get better!