Stonewall

Early Sunday morning round at Stonewall (Elverson, PA) on the Old Course with my great buddy; a real treat! We had the first tee time of 7:35, escorted by our energetic, polite, enthusiastic caddy, Aaron. Stonewall is a private club with two Tom Doak designed courses; the Old Course (walking only) and the North Course (carts permitted). I have been fortunate to play the Old Course a number of times however I have only played the North Course once, many years ago.

The Old Course is a real test, however I have been playing a little better the last few weeks so my faith in the day was a little more robust than usual (which by all standards isn’t saying much). As we approached the 5th hole, things were going modestly well. I had finished every hole, there were no significant disasters, a few disappointments and an elusive birdie on the par five, 3rd hole.

The par three, 5th hole plays 178 yards from the blue markers. The elevated tee box sits on top of a large hill, playing significantly downhill to the guarded green. There is heavy brush from the end of the tee box to the stream that meanders in front of the green and continues along the entire right side of the green. To make matters more interesting, there is additional heavy brush to the right of the stream on the right side of the green as well as bunkers along the left side. This hole is no picnic!

As we caught our breath from traversing the hill, I selected my trusty four-iron from the three options I decided to bring along on the hike. I confidently placed my new #6 Titleist Pro-V1x on my buried Pride titanium strength 3 ¼” black tee, eyeballing my desired flight path (quite frankly, anything remotely close to the green would have been just fine). I moved into position with a good spine angle, ball ahead in my stance, committing to a slow rhythmic swing. I took the club back, pulled the trigger and then all hell broke loose. My #6 Titleist Pro-V1x struck one of the white tee markers, which was positioned eleven yards ahead of the blue tee markers. Said #6 Titleist Pro-V1x ricocheted straight back (no higher than two feet off the ground) just past my stunned playing partner, coming to rest in the grass, ten yards behind the blue ball markers, slightly off the tee box. While all of this was happening, the white ball marker was catapulting end over end, down the endless hill into the heavy brush, most likely never to be seen again.

A few giggles and a few shakes of the head later, we headed down the hill where we came upon a greens keeper blowing leaves from the perimeter of the neighboring 4th green. My buddy, and lucky to be alive host, thought it would be a good idea to inform the greens keeper of the missing tee marker. As my buddy shared the story, I witnessed from a slight distance, the smirks, the additional giggles and the seemingly endless grins. I apologized, admitting to my transgression.

The greens keeper then responded, and I quote, “Hey, don’t worry about it, it happens all the time”. Pause. What? I responded, “It happens ALL the time”? Thinking to myself, you got to be kidding me! The greens keeper finally came clean, suggesting that he was trying to kid me, hoping to make me feel better.

Well, I proceeded to unravel for the balance of the 5th hole, yada, yada, yada; seven. In addition, I proceeded to unravel on the 6th hole with a pathetic drive, a more than pathetic second shot, a reasonably solid third shot, shanking my fourth shot into the woods on the right side of the fairway. At that point I decided it would be best to be “in my pocket” without actually having anything to put in my pocket! My buddy and our dazed caddy were calming influences as I regained what little composure I had on the par three, 7th hole.

Just chalk it all up to additional fodder for my moniker, Bad Golf Guy! This is some game!

Thank you for following Bad Golf Guy and remember…

The back nine can only get better!