My Nemesis

Background:
I am not a particularly good 10.7 handicap, however I play in excess of sixty rounds a year, practice routinely, have shot multiple rounds in the 70’s and have been fortunate enough to have had a hole in one to my name; some resume!  I have been referred to as athletic and, generally speaking, can slap it around with a modicum of success.  At some point during the month of June, my golf game is reasonably mediocre in all categories.  Nothing stands out, nothing is a complete disaster.

Scene of the Crime:
I am blessed with family and really good friends that routinely invite me to participate in their clubs’ Three Day Member-Guest Tournaments; festive, social, testosterone-laced affairs with ample food and drink.  I suspect I have participated in fifteen to twenty such events through the years.

The event consists of a practice round on Thursday, three nine-hole matches on Friday and two nine-hole matches of Saturday.  The sixty, two-man teams are segregated in ten six-team flights by combined abilities (handicaps) and teams are awarded points based on performance in each of their five matches within their flight (one point for winning a hole, a half of a point for a tie and no points for losing a hole and an additional point for winning the match).  The maximum number of points is fifty; the minimum number of points is zero. The format is match-play, better ball of partners with handicaps.  The winner of each flight (a total of ten teams) participates in a “Shoot-Out” where teams are eliminated in a three/four-hole mini-tournament, until the eventual winner is determined.

For the average golfer, there is pressure associated with your team’s performance as the results of each match are posted next to your team name/picture on the “Big Board”.  You cannot run or hide!

Performance:
During those fifteen to twenty or so events, my/our team has never, and I mean never, sniffed the “Shoot-Out”, routinely finishing in the middle to the bottom half of our flight.  We have at times qualified for Naperville Country Club’s (Naperville, Illinois) “Throw-Up Pool”.  A designation/opportunity for those that finish last in their respective flights!

THE SINGLE COMMON DENOMINATOR IN EVERY STINKIN’ THREE DAY MEMBER-GUEST IS ME!

Our competitors come in all shapes and sizes.  We get beat by tall guys, short guys, thin guys, fat guys, young guys, old guys and guys riding in a handicapped flagged golf cart.  Not only do we play poorly, our competitors often times play completely out of their minds.  Example:  A nine handicapper hitting five-wood off the deck from 226 yards, dead into the wind, to ten feet!  This is all a very bad combination.

Note:
In my/our most recent debacle, we (mostly I) finished dead last in our flight and dead last in the field with a score of 17 ½ points, losing 32 ½ points…and often times my partner contributed the lion share of our activity.

Emotions:
Early on in my/our member-guest tribulations, I/we justified our performance based on lack of experience, nerves, tournament play, yada, yada, yada.  Not sure I/we (mostly “I”) can go with any of those excuses.  During a bad match/matches/event I feel discouraged, humiliated, inadequate, debilitated, not to mention my anxiety level is through the roof.  Worse yet, I routinely let my partner down; a partner that could have chosen a different, better performing partner.  Point in Case: Last summer my brother chose to invite a better performing stick, my good friend and my Saturday morning playing partner to participate in his Member-Guest in my steed!   The results were markedly improved.  There was actually hope after Friday’s three matches!

My ultimate goal during these low points is to not make a complete ass of myself with my behavior or worse yet embarrass my host.  Such a helpless feeling!

Logic:

So why does this happen?  Is it the competition?  Not sure as I have played competitive sports at a reasonably high level throughout my life without these kinds of performances/emotions/feelings.  I am at a loss for answers other than the fact that my anemic, inconsistent golf swing just can’t hold up under pressure.

In the grand scheme of things, it should just not be that important to me but it is.  Maybe it is simple pride or the fact that golf is my sole remaining competitive sport.

Press Conference:
On Saturday, the 24th of March, 2018 at 7:30 in the evening, I officially suspended any involvement with any form of tournament play until further notice.  I am simply no longer prepared/able to handle/manage my poor play and my apparent fragile emotional condition. I do however reserve the right to consult with Brett Favre to determine an appropriate strategy for re-engagement at any point in the future.

To my utter amazement, no one attended my press conference.

Thank you for following Bad Golf Guy.

The back nine can only get better!