Classic Swings

This site is called “Bad Golf Guy” for a reason, so let’s get this out of the way!

Time to share a few examples of my bad golf. Hide the women and children! This is not for the faint of heart. You may want to sit down. Or, at least, duck. I have hit so many awful golf shots that have left me absolutely speechless and humbled. These same shots, and many others, continue to provide countless chuckles for me and my friends. Here are a few fine examples:

Bad Shot #1
Conklin Players Club, Conklin, New York
Hole #1, 339 Yards/Par Four

This round began early morning in the late summer. Conditions were wet and I was playing as part of a group of three foursomes consisting of customers and friends. Oh. And it came on the heels of a late evening of too many Bloody Mary’s. Number One is a short hole with a hazard that runs along the left side, to an elevated green. I hit a marginal drive to the left side of the fairway. I was inside 130 yards with a nine-iron and managed to come over the top of my Titleist with such force I actually drove the ball into the ground (think ‘finish nail’) to the point that there was no evidence of said Titleist in the fairway. I mean none!

Bad Shot #2
Conklin Players Club, Conklin, New York
Hole #18, 518 Yards/Par Five

This time I was playing a late afternoon round in the late summer with dry conditions and a group of customers and friends. Number Eighteen is a mid-length hole, significantly elevated tee box, dogleg right, with a bunch of traps that cross the fairway approximately 100 yards from the green. I hit my drive through the fairway to a side-hill fluffy lie with 275 yards to the hole. What happened next was incomprehensible.

I had a rescue club in my hands and pulled the trigger. The club passed completely under the ball, creating an attached divot that flopped away from the ball. The ball subsequently dropped into the divot hole and then the attached divot elected to return home, completely covering my ball.

Side bar: There is a bit of a theme with my rounds at Conklin and I’d consider never playing there again, but Conklin Players Club may be one of the most scenic, well maintained courses I have played, including private clubs. Reasonable green fees with unique holes and numerous elevation changes. A treasure.

Bad Shot #3
Conestoga Country Club, Lancaster, PA
Hole #14, 407 Yards/Par Four

It was summer, mid-afternoon and conditions were dry. It was my first member-guest playing my new boss; a serious man who is serious about his golf game. Fourteen is a lengthy par four with an elevated tee box, a creek in play off the box to an uphill fairway.
An Aside: Back to my boss for just a moment. He has memorialized every hole of every round of his adult life. He had (at that time) played over 500 different golf courses through the late 1990’s.

Okay, back to “Bad Golf”. I hit a rather lame drive to 200 yards. I grabbed my copper Taylor Made five- wood in an attempt to hit my uphill shot toward the green. I came across the top of my Titleist (sound familiar), creating tremendous top spin. The ball dug into the ground so violently it ball spun straight back twenty to twenty-five yards almost returning to the creek that I had just crossed.

My playing partner simply said “In all of my days, I have never seen anything like that”. I chose to take that as a compliment!

Bad Shot #4
Conestoga Country Club, Lancaster, PA
Hole #10, 487 Yards/Par Five

There is a reason I saved this one for last!

Picture it. Late fall. Dry conditions. Short par five. Elevated tee box. There is a creek you need to cross with your tee shot. The same creek runs laterally along the entire left side of the fairway. As you tee off on the 10th, the clubhouse is behind you and off the left, with the pool in front/forward of the clubhouse. There is no golf terminology (i.e. slice, hook, push, etc.) to eloquently describe what happened next.

My strike was a lofty dead pull (I suppose you could call it) with the ball travelling no further than 50-60 yards, essentially on a 45-degree angle, landing with a bit of a bounce on the black swimming pool tarp and then rolling slowly to the middle of the tarp.

The ball remained prominently in the center of the pool tarp for the entire winter. To add insult to injury, my company’s logo adorned my golf ball.

You can’t leave me hanging here with “special moments”. How about you? Tell me about your own special shots!

Thank you for following Bad Golf Guy.

The back nine can only get better!